kingsburgrecorder
Ben Ezaki dropped out of college before he even started so he could be a rock musician. The 18-year-old Kingsburg resident decided to skip college this year -- and possibly beyond -- to play guitar with a Turlock-based band that hopes to hit it big, but still tours, and sleeps, in a small 20-year-old bus. The band, A Midsky Surrender, is scheduled to perform in a concert at 6 p.m. Sept. 5 at the Kingsburg Community Church. Admission will be $5. Ben's father, Ed Ezaki, is the pastor at the church. Ben earned A's at Kingsburg High School, graduated in June and had a scholarship to attend California State University, Fresno this fall. "But music is all I ever wanted to do," he said. "It was definitely hard to tell my parents."
It's a story that many families have faced. A teenager's dream of what he wants in life collides with his parents' belief of what is best for him. It can be difficult for any household facing the generational conflict on issues such as school, career and what parents see as a stable life.
It was especially hard in the Ezaki home. Ed Ezaki attended two prestigious schools: The University of California at Berkeley and Princeton Seminary in New Jersey. He also serves on the Kingsburg elementary school board. Gretchen Ezaki, Ben's mother, has a master's degree and teaches nursing at Fresno City College.
The Ezakis each have a story to tell. First the son's; then the father's.
Ben Ezaki had a lot of friends and was involved in many activities growing up in Kingsburg. But, he said, he didn't "fit in" -- even with his friends who shared his interest in music. Actually, it was more than an interest for him.
It's a story that many families have faced. A teenager's dream of what he wants in life collides with his parents' belief of what is best for him. It can be difficult for any household facing the generational conflict on issues such as school, career and what parents see as a stable life.
It was especially hard in the Ezaki home. Ed Ezaki attended two prestigious schools: The University of California at Berkeley and Princeton Seminary in New Jersey. He also serves on the Kingsburg elementary school board. Gretchen Ezaki, Ben's mother, has a master's degree and teaches nursing at Fresno City College.
The Ezakis each have a story to tell. First the son's; then the father's.
Ben Ezaki had a lot of friends and was involved in many activities growing up in Kingsburg. But, he said, he didn't "fit in" -- even with his friends who shared his interest in music. Actually, it was more than an interest for him.
"Music means everything to me," Ben said last week. "It is my sole love and passion. The way I appreciate it is different than other people."
He started on piano and moved to drums and then guitar. Ben played in high school bands and he also had a band known as This, Emerging.
Music consumed him, he said, and he couldn't concentrate on school work as he daydreamed about beats and gigs.
"I'd always tell my friends, 'I'm going to drop out of college to go on tour with a band.' But I don't think any of them believed it, and I don't think I believed it either."
This spring, he learned that A Midsky Surrender needed a guitar player. He knew he wanted it, but he broke the news to his parents gradually, moving from ambivalent curiosity to casual interest to a final statement: "Mom and Dad, I'm turning down a $12,000 scholarship to join a band and tour the world."
So far, A Midsky Surrender -- which has five members, all 18 or 19 -- has played only in California. Their audiences excite Ben. "I love meeting people and constantly being surrounded by them," he said. "I try to reach out to the kids and connect."
Will he be able to give up next year and start college?
"That's the big question," Ben said. "We'll see after a year's up."
However, it could be tough to quit, because the band recently got a new manager who talks of taking the group to the "next level," he added: "That's definitely changed my perspective. In a year we'll see how things are going, and hopefully I can put school in the past."
Translation: He can stop thinking about starting college.
Added Ben: "That's when my parents are going to kill me. But there's nothing I want to do that isn't in the music industry, and none of it requires a college degree."
If this is rebellion, is it because he grew up a p.k. -- a preacher's kid?
"I don't know. I'm not a therapist," Ben said. "It's definitely hard when everyone knows you and everyone is watching you. But I don't think it had any direct effect. I always wanted to get out. It's not so much a p.k. thing as a Kingsburg kid thing."
One of those other Kingsburg kids, 18-year-old Kyle Ray, played with Ben in This, Emerging. "At first I thought what Ben is doing was kind of stupid -- and I still do -- but he's doing what he likes, and if he's happy and going along for the ride, then I'm happy for him," said Ray, who is attending Fresno State.
Despite what others think, Ben said he knows that his parents love and support him. Ironically, he added, he's had the confidence to go his own way because of his father. "My dad is the most self-confident person in the world. And even when he's not confident, you'd never know it. Like father, like son, I guess."
Educa-tion and faith made Ed Ezaki. They led him to his work as a pastor and they shaped expectations for his children. Now with son Ben choosing a rock band over college, Ezaki is relying on God's faithfulness and his own common sense -- he's not paying for his son's touring.
Ezaki, 52, said he and his wife come from the "striving" generation in their families and were among the first to attend college. He made it from a troubled, low-achieving high school in Sacramento to Cal Berkeley, where he earned a business degree.
Ezaki then plunged into the corporate world in San Francisco before leaving to get a master's degree in divinity from Princeton and become a pastor. He and his family settled in Kingsburg in 1991. Ezaki said he and his wife became "typical middle-class American parents" who assumed that their kids would go to college. The Ezakis have three children; Ben is the oldest.
Ezaki initially believed that Ben's plans after high school fit into that vision. Ben was accepted at several colleges besides Fresno State; the list includes the University of California at Santa Barbara, UC Irvine and Cal Poly.
Then came Ben's big announcement about the band. Ezaki: "I told Ben, 'I'm skeptical that this is going to be part of your long-term future.' On my part, there was real frustration and disappointment. But we were all being really careful to take a deep breath and not overreact."
His greatest fear is that Ben won't ever attend college.
However, for several reasons -- practical, spiritual and emotional -- he never told Ben that he couldn't join the band. For one thing, Ben turned 18 last November and legally could do as he pleased. More importantly, Ezaki said, he loves his son and trusts God with Ben's future.
"It's not easy," he said. "But I'm going to maintain a relationship with my son even if I'm worried that he's making a mistake. I have some faith in what Ben learned growing up and that he is equipped to make wise decisions. In the end, God is guiding him. It's not just me."
Ezaki takes comfort in remembering those times when Ben exercised his Christian faith -- traveling, for example, to Cambodia several years ago to help orphans. However, he's also aware of Ben's weaknesses, saying that his son "screwed around" in high school despite getting good grades.
Because of Ben's attitude, he probably wouldn't have done well in college if he'd gone just to please his parents, said Gretchen Ezaki: "I hope it's a one-year thing and he gets the band out of his system and he's ready to seriously do school next year."
Added Ed Ezaki: "If he goes to college, I pay. But if he plays in a rock band, he's going to have to find a way to make it happen." (Ben said he and other band members take their pay from gigs and put it toward the group's expenses. "I don't mind being poor and I don't mind living in a bus with the other guys," he said, adding that he never expected his parents to pay for his touring.)
As Ed Ezaki thinks about his son's love of music, and where it has led him, he remembers buying Ben some of his earliest CD's: Carlos Santana, The Who, Eric Clapton.
If only he had known, he said with a laugh. "I'm not against rock 'n' roll, and I have nothing against having adventure in life. But it's still taking some getting use to that this adventure involves playing in a rock band."
He started on piano and moved to drums and then guitar. Ben played in high school bands and he also had a band known as This, Emerging.
Music consumed him, he said, and he couldn't concentrate on school work as he daydreamed about beats and gigs.
"I'd always tell my friends, 'I'm going to drop out of college to go on tour with a band.' But I don't think any of them believed it, and I don't think I believed it either."
This spring, he learned that A Midsky Surrender needed a guitar player. He knew he wanted it, but he broke the news to his parents gradually, moving from ambivalent curiosity to casual interest to a final statement: "Mom and Dad, I'm turning down a $12,000 scholarship to join a band and tour the world."
So far, A Midsky Surrender -- which has five members, all 18 or 19 -- has played only in California. Their audiences excite Ben. "I love meeting people and constantly being surrounded by them," he said. "I try to reach out to the kids and connect."
Will he be able to give up next year and start college?
"That's the big question," Ben said. "We'll see after a year's up."
However, it could be tough to quit, because the band recently got a new manager who talks of taking the group to the "next level," he added: "That's definitely changed my perspective. In a year we'll see how things are going, and hopefully I can put school in the past."
Translation: He can stop thinking about starting college.
Added Ben: "That's when my parents are going to kill me. But there's nothing I want to do that isn't in the music industry, and none of it requires a college degree."
If this is rebellion, is it because he grew up a p.k. -- a preacher's kid?
"I don't know. I'm not a therapist," Ben said. "It's definitely hard when everyone knows you and everyone is watching you. But I don't think it had any direct effect. I always wanted to get out. It's not so much a p.k. thing as a Kingsburg kid thing."
One of those other Kingsburg kids, 18-year-old Kyle Ray, played with Ben in This, Emerging. "At first I thought what Ben is doing was kind of stupid -- and I still do -- but he's doing what he likes, and if he's happy and going along for the ride, then I'm happy for him," said Ray, who is attending Fresno State.
Despite what others think, Ben said he knows that his parents love and support him. Ironically, he added, he's had the confidence to go his own way because of his father. "My dad is the most self-confident person in the world. And even when he's not confident, you'd never know it. Like father, like son, I guess."
Educa-tion and faith made Ed Ezaki. They led him to his work as a pastor and they shaped expectations for his children. Now with son Ben choosing a rock band over college, Ezaki is relying on God's faithfulness and his own common sense -- he's not paying for his son's touring.
Ezaki, 52, said he and his wife come from the "striving" generation in their families and were among the first to attend college. He made it from a troubled, low-achieving high school in Sacramento to Cal Berkeley, where he earned a business degree.
Ezaki then plunged into the corporate world in San Francisco before leaving to get a master's degree in divinity from Princeton and become a pastor. He and his family settled in Kingsburg in 1991. Ezaki said he and his wife became "typical middle-class American parents" who assumed that their kids would go to college. The Ezakis have three children; Ben is the oldest.
Ezaki initially believed that Ben's plans after high school fit into that vision. Ben was accepted at several colleges besides Fresno State; the list includes the University of California at Santa Barbara, UC Irvine and Cal Poly.
Then came Ben's big announcement about the band. Ezaki: "I told Ben, 'I'm skeptical that this is going to be part of your long-term future.' On my part, there was real frustration and disappointment. But we were all being really careful to take a deep breath and not overreact."
His greatest fear is that Ben won't ever attend college.
However, for several reasons -- practical, spiritual and emotional -- he never told Ben that he couldn't join the band. For one thing, Ben turned 18 last November and legally could do as he pleased. More importantly, Ezaki said, he loves his son and trusts God with Ben's future.
"It's not easy," he said. "But I'm going to maintain a relationship with my son even if I'm worried that he's making a mistake. I have some faith in what Ben learned growing up and that he is equipped to make wise decisions. In the end, God is guiding him. It's not just me."
Ezaki takes comfort in remembering those times when Ben exercised his Christian faith -- traveling, for example, to Cambodia several years ago to help orphans. However, he's also aware of Ben's weaknesses, saying that his son "screwed around" in high school despite getting good grades.
Because of Ben's attitude, he probably wouldn't have done well in college if he'd gone just to please his parents, said Gretchen Ezaki: "I hope it's a one-year thing and he gets the band out of his system and he's ready to seriously do school next year."
Added Ed Ezaki: "If he goes to college, I pay. But if he plays in a rock band, he's going to have to find a way to make it happen." (Ben said he and other band members take their pay from gigs and put it toward the group's expenses. "I don't mind being poor and I don't mind living in a bus with the other guys," he said, adding that he never expected his parents to pay for his touring.)
As Ed Ezaki thinks about his son's love of music, and where it has led him, he remembers buying Ben some of his earliest CD's: Carlos Santana, The Who, Eric Clapton.
If only he had known, he said with a laugh. "I'm not against rock 'n' roll, and I have nothing against having adventure in life. But it's still taking some getting use to that this adventure involves playing in a rock band."
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